Madison Getaway: Unbeatable Deals at Holiday Inn Express & Suites!
The Resort That Promised Paradise (And Kinda, Sorta Delivered) - A Messy, Honest Review
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to unleash a review of [Insert Resort Name Here] that's less "polished travel brochure" and more "confessions of a sleep-deprived traveler fueled by complimentary coffee." I'm talking real feelings, people. The good, the bad, the questionable decisions made at 3 AM in the mini-bar. Let's dive in.
Metadata, Because Apparently, That's Important:
- SEO Keywords: Luxury Resort Review, Accessible Hotel, Family-Friendly Resort, Spa Review, Pool with a View, Free Wi-Fi, Restaurant Review, COVID-19 Safety, [Resort Name] Review, [City/Region] Hotels, Best Resorts, Honeymoon Destinations, Group Travel, Business Travel.
- Meta Description: A brutally honest review of [Resort Name], covering accessibility, amenities, dining, and COVID-19 safety. Get the real scoop on the spa, pools, Wi-Fi, and whether it's worth your hard-earned vacation time. Expect unfiltered opinions and a healthy dose of travel-induced chaos.
First Impressions: Accessibility - Can a Wheelchair Actually Rule the World Here?
Alright, accessibility. This is a big deal for me. I'm not in a wheelchair, but I'm always checking for ease of movement, because I'm with a family member that requires it. Frankly, some places SAY they're accessible, but it's like they just said the word and forgot the meaning.
- The Good News: [Resort Name] mostly gets it right. Elevators, ramps, and wide doorways are plentiful. The public areas, like the lobby and… well, most of the lobby, and front area were easy to navigate.
- The Slightly Less Good News: Some of the pool entrances were… interesting. Not a dealbreaker, but could be a lot better. And the "accessible" rooms? They were available, but the bathrooms felt a bit… tight. Not claustrophobic, just… a little cramped for maneuvering. On the plus side, the staff was genuinely helpful, and tried their best everywhere.
On-Site Wonders (Or Not-So-Wonders): Restaurants, Lounges, and the Quest for Wi-Fi Enlightenment
Let's talk about the essentials: food, booze, and internet. Because let's be real, that's the holy trinity of any decent getaway.
- Restaurants: There were a bunch! "A la carte," "buffet," "Asian," "International," "Vegetarian," the whole shebang. This is fantastic. I loved this part of the trip. Finding foods for everyone, especially the picky eaters, was awesome. I liked the breakfast setup, it was pretty good.
- Lounges & Bars: Poolside bar? Check. Happy hour? Double-check. I found more bars the more I investigated the grounds and it was a great experience
- Wi-Fi: The Great Deciphering! Okay, this one is a mixed bag. Technically, yes, there's "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!". And technically, there's "[Internet (LAN)]". And also "Wi-Fi in public areas". But the reality? Some days it was lightning fast, other days I felt like I was back in the dial-up era. I found a spot down by the pool that worked and never made my way from there. My room was fine but the LAN port seemed dead, so i went with Wi-Fi. Sigh.
- Internet Services: I took a few calls but nothing too important. It worked really well for the basic tasks I used it for, so good job!
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: From Body Wraps to the Frightening Fitness Center
Okay, let's get to the fun stuff. What did they have to keep us from, well, going insane?
- Spa: Oh, the spa! I splurged on a body scrub and a massage. The body scrub was nice, and left me feeling like a freshly peeled orange. The massage was what I would rate as a 7.5/10. I did enjoy it.
- Pool & Views: The pool with a view? Glorious. Just glorious. The water was the perfect temperature, the scenery was breathtaking, and there were plenty of comfy loungers. Perfect spot to spend a day!!
- Fitness Center: The Place Where My Motivation Died a Sad Death: I went…once. Seriously. It looked like it hadn't been updated since the 90s. Okay, i was a bit judgemental, but it's not a place for me. Never again.
Cleanliness and Safety: COVID-19 Edition - Did They Actually Care, Or Just Pretend?
Look, I'm still a little paranoid about germs, even after the world has seemingly moved on. So cleanliness and safety were huge factors for me.
- The Good Stuff: Lots of good stuff here! Daily disinfection, hand sanitizer everywhere, and the staff actually seemed to be following protocols. I felt pretty safe. They even had individually-wrapped food options and staff who seemed to have done some training. It was really comforting.
- The Small Imperfections: I did see the same cleaning staff member twice. Still, it was pretty clean.
Dining, Drinking, & Snacking: My Stomachs Review!
Let's be honest again. Food is ESSENTIAL.
- The Breakfast Buffet: I'm here to eat. The buffet was decent. The Asian breakfast options were hit or miss, but the Western stuff was pretty good. The coffee, though… could have been better.
- Poolside Bar: Excellent. Strong drinks, good service, and a killer view. Highly recommended.
- Room Service (24-Hour): Convenient, but the food quality varied wildly depending on the time of day.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Extras That Make or Break a Stay
- The Elevator Saga: The elevator was a workhorse, I saw it constantly!
- Concierge: Helpful and friendly. Always a plus.
- Luggage Storage: Always useful.
- The Gift Shop: Needed a charger, found it. They have most of the stuff you need.
For the Kids: The Babysitting Service (I didn't use it, but…)
I don't have kids. Sorry, I cant say much about this one.
Available in All Rooms: The Details That Matter (Mostly)
- Air Conditioning: Thank goodness. It was HOT.
- Coffee/Tea Maker: Essential for coping.
- Free Bottled Water: A lifesaver. Dehydration is NEVER fun.
- Wi-Fi (Free): When it worked, it was great. When it didn't… well, see above. Sigh.
- Additional Toilet: Yes!
- The Slippers that Survived: I have never done that before, but I kept them the whole time and they're still good today!
Getting Around: Taxi Tango and Parking Paradise
- Airport Transfer: Efficient and stress-free. A good start to the trip.
- Car Park [Free of Charge]: Very welcome.
Final Verdict: Worth the Trip?
Honestly? I'd go back. There were imperfections. The Wi-Fi could be better, and the gym needed an upgrade, but the overall experience was positive. The staff was friendly, the pools were delightful, and the food was mostly delicious. And hey, isn't that what a vacation is all about? A little bit of paradise, with a side of Wi-Fi woes and potentially dubious gym equipment. I'd give it a solid 7.5/10. And that, my friends, is the truth. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find a place with a decent cup of coffee and a reliable internet connection. Because, you know, research.
Escape to Indy: Holiday Inn Airport's Unbeatable Deals!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's itinerary. This is… my itinerary. And it's gonna be a wild ride. Madison, Wisconsin, here I come! Holiday Inn Express & Suites, get ready to feel me.
Pre-Trip Anxiety & Existential Dread (aka, the Day Before)
- Morning: Pack. Or, rather, attempt to pack. My suitcase is a black hole. I swear, socks disappear in there. Send frantic texts to friends about what constitutes “Wisconsin casual.” Apparently, flannel is mandatory. Great. I’m more of a t-shirt and jeans kinda gal. Now I need to buy a flannel. And how do you fold that thing?
- Afternoon: Suddenly remember all the things I'm forgetting. Did I remember my toothbrush? My meds? My sanity? Probably left the last one at the dry cleaners. Oh! And do I have enough snacks? I am a bottomless pit. Gotta buy snacks. Must. Have. Snacks.
- Evening: Last-minute freak-out. Double check the hotel confirmation. Google Maps the route. Worry about traffic. Worry about not finding parking. Worry about… everything. Eat a whole pizza out of pure nerves.
Day 1: Arrival, Awkward Hotel Moments, and a Brewery Pilgrimage
- 1:00 PM: Touchdown in Madison! The airport is blessedly small. Praise be. Grab my rental car (it's tiny and probably named "Clumsy" - I named it. It's the perfect amount of "me"). Commence the drive to the Holiday Inn Express & Suites. The GPS lady is my best friend right now.
- 2:00 PM: Arrive at the hotel. Check-in. Smile awkwardly at the overly enthusiastic receptionist. He's very into his job. Get the room key. It works! Success!
- 2:30 PM: Room inspection. Did I get a good room? It's clean! Phew. The bed looks comfy. Test it out. It is. Good. Now, where can I get a coffee that's not the hotel's instant coffee?
- 3:00 PM: Explore the hotel a bit. Find the gym (nope). Find the pool (meh). Find the vending machine (YES!). Grab a bag of chips because apparently, my snack anxiety is still raging. Feel a little bit like a sad, lonely potato chip connoisseur.
- 4:00 PM: Head to Ale Asylum. Oh, glorious Ale Asylum. (I'd been looking forward to this for months.) The brewery. The beer. The atmosphere. It’s like a cathedral of hops and barley. The first sip of their Ambergeddon felt like a religious experience. Suddenly, all the pre-trip stress just melted away. I meet a group of locals there. They're friendly. We talk about the weather (it's lovely), Madison (they love it), and beer (they really, really love it). Yes! Community! Alcohol!
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a local pub. (I'll probably spill something on myself. It's inevitable.) Order the cheese curds - it's Wisconsin, after all. I eat far too many. Decide cheese curds are the food of the gods.
- 9:00 PM: Back to the hotel. Watch some terrible TV. Feel the bliss of complete nothingness. Crash.
Day 2: State Capitol Gawk, Lake Monona Stroll, and That One Thing… (The Thing!)
- 9:00 AM: Wake up. Wish I could sleep in. Curse my internal alarm clock. Drink hotel coffee (it’s… passable).
- 10:00 AM: Visit the Wisconsin State Capitol Building. Wow, it's beautiful. Seriously, the architecture is stunning. Take a ton of pictures. Get slightly lost. (I have a terrible sense of direction, and I'm blaming the cheese curds.) Wander around, pretending to be an expert in political science. Fail.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at a cafe overlooking Lake Monona. The view is gorgeous. This city is actually really pretty! Enjoy the view, people-watch, and try to pretend I'm not a total tourist.
- 1:00 PM: Take a walk around Lake Monona. It's all scenic and peaceful. I walk too far and my feet start to hurt. Consider throwing myself in the lake for sweet, sweet relief. Don’t.
- 2:00 PM: That thing. The thing I've been putting off. The one thing that really sparked my interest. The Chazen Museum of Art! I'm, secretly, kind of a culture snob. Get a bit overwhelmed at all the art. Get lost. Again. Wander through the galleries, feeling all artsy and intellectual. Pretend to understand abstract art. Don't. I start crying. Not from happiness, but from a sudden, intense wave of emotional exhaustion from being a human being.
- 5:00 PM: Head back to the hotel. Shower. Change. Freak out about what to wear for dinner. I have a date with some of the locals I met the night before. Deep breaths.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner with newfound friends. More beer. More cheese. More laughter. This is actually fun, huh?
Day 3: Departure and the Bitter Sweet of Leaving (and a Burger)
- 9:00 AM: Wake up. This time actually sleeping in? Praise be. Decide the hotel breakfast is just okay. Get some waffle.
- 10:00 AM: Check out. Sigh. It's over.
- 10:30 AM: One last Madison hurrah - a burger at a diner. Because burgers are mandatory on any good trip.
- 11:30 AM: Drive to the airport. Traffic. Because of course. The GPS lady is still my friend, but I'm starting to resent her slightly.
- 1:00 PM: Fly home.
- After: Land. Crawl back into my regular life, slightly changed, a little bit happier, and definitely full of cheese curds. Already planning my return. Madison, you weird, wonderful place, I miss you already.
So, what *is* this supposed to be about, anyway? Like, what's the deal, Doc?
Alright, alright, settle down. It's supposed to be an FAQ. About… life, I guess? Maybe? Look, I had a rough day. The dryer ate one of my favorite socks (the *good* one, the argyle!), the coffee tasted like sadness, and I stubbed my toe on the cat. Basically, I'm channeling all that glorious, messy, imperfect humanity into this. So expect less "objective analysis" and more… well, *me*. Expect *opinions*! And maybe a few tangents. You've been warned.
Are you actually going to *answer* any questions, or are we just going to get a stream-of-consciousness word vomit session? (I'm already regretting this.)
Look, I *promised* FAQs, didn't I? I'll try (keyword: *try*) to answer questions. But hey, sometimes the best answers come from letting the brain just… *flow*. Think of it like a jazz solo. Sometimes it's gorgeous, sometimes it's a cacophony of noise, but it's always *interesting*. So, yeah, there will be actual answers. Eventually. Maybe. Probably. Don’t hold your breath. (Also, if I'm being honest, I'm still recovering from the sock tragedy. It's a *lot* to process.)
Fine. Let's start easy. What's your favorite color? (Please don't say "life.")
Okay, okay, no "life." Although, if life *was* a color, it'd probably be a chaotic swirling mess of all the colors, occasionally punctuated by a defiant, bright yellow (because, sunshine, dammit). But I digress! My current favorite is… hmmm… it changes, you know? Today? Probably that weird, dusky grey/blue you see when you stare at the sky just before a storm hits. It's got that feeling of… *potential*. And a healthy dose of impending doom, which, let's be honest, is a mood. Come to think of it, that's probably a good metaphor for me right now.
Do you have any advice for dealing with… well, *everything*?
Advice? Oh, honey, I'm barely keeping it together myself! But if I had to boil it down, it'd be this: lower your expectations. Seriously. We're all just stumbling around in the dark, bumping into things and hoping for the best. Embrace the chaos! Laugh at your failures (especially the sock-eating dryer). And for the love of all that is holy, find something that makes you happy. Even if it's just a really good cup of coffee or a really bad pun. (And hey, maybe avoid cats until you've had your coffee.)
What about the REALLY hard stuff? Like, the stuff that keeps you up at night?
Ugh. Okay, fine. The hard stuff. The stuff that makes you question everything. The stuff that makes you want to crawl under the covers and never come out. Yeah, I get that. I really, *really* do. You know what I do? I… I try not to think about it. (Don't judge me!) Okay, okay, that's not *always* helpful. Sometimes, you just gotta… feel it. Let the emotions wash over you. Cry if you need to. Scream into a pillow. Then, when you're ready, remember that you are not alone. Talk to someone. Even if it's just a friend. Or me. (I'm a good listener… sometimes. Mostly). And remember: this too shall pass. Even if it feels like it never will. It will. Eventually. Probably. (I'm working on my optimism, okay?).
Okay, let's switch gears... What's the weirdest thing that has ever happened to you? Be honest!
Okay...this is a hard one, because, honestly, my life is a series of weird events. I'm a magnet for the strange and unusual, and that's just a fact. But, I would say this. This one time, I was… I was trying to bake a cake. Like, a *real* cake, from scratch. Not one of those sad boxed mixes. I’m talking, like, flour everywhere, a mess of buttercream, the whole shebang. I’m not a great baker, I will admit. And this cake… it was going to be perfect. I was determined!
So, I get everything mixed, the oven is going… and BAM. Somehow, the oven door just… *exploded*. Like, glass shards, and smoke and… fire. Not a huge fire, but a fire nonetheless! I screamed, I ran, I called the fire department. And then, here’s the kicker. I was so flustered and frazzled by this whole situation, I forgot to turn off the oven. So, through the broken door, it continued to bake, for at least another 20 minutes!
When the firemen finally got there, after calming me down, they looked at the oven, and… I swear to you, they started to chuckle. Because, through all the smoke and mess, there it was. The cake! It was actually.. not burnt. And a little… magical. Maybe I had to be insane to get to the other side. It was surreal, absurd, and utterly, utterly bizarre. We ate it later, and, even with a bit of glass, it was delicious. To this day, I have no clue what happened and still love to bake. It was a glorious, chaotic failure, and I wouldn’t trade the memory for anything.
What's your biggest pet peeve?
People who are *always* late. Look, I'm not talking about a five minute delay. I'm talking about the people who are *habitually* late. The ones who think a half hour is "fashionably" late. The ones who make *you* look bad by association. It's disrespectful! It's inconsiderate! It's... *grrr*. I'm getting worked up just thinking about it. Honestly, if I had a superpower, it would be the ability to make those people spontaneously sprout tiny, itchy mustaches. (Purely for educational purposes, of course.)
What's the best thing about being... you?
Hm. That's a tough one. Honestly, some days, the best thing about being me is that I'm still hereBook Hotels Now
