Ios's Helena Hotel: Your Dream Chora Getaway Awaits!
Helena Hotel, Ios: My Dream Chora Getaway… Mostly. (A Messy, Honest Review)
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to give you the real lowdown on Helena Hotel in Ios. Forget the glossy brochures and airbrushed photos. I'm going to tell you EVERYTHING, warts and all, because that's how I roll. And trust me, there were definitely warts on this particular Greek island getaway.
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- Meta Description: Unfiltered review of Helena Hotel in Ios's Chora. Accessibility, amenities, food, and the (sometimes hilarious) experience are all laid bare. Is it paradise? Maybe. Probably. Read on!
Accessibility – (A Little Bit of a Mixed Bag, Honestly)
Okay, so the website says facilities for disabled guests are available. And technically, there's an elevator. But navigating the Chora itself? Whew. Forget it if you're in a wheelchair, or even have mobility issues. The streets are pure cobblestone chaos. Getting to the hotel from the port? Expect a taxi (available) or, pray to Poseidon, a super-considerate driver. I'm talking about access to the hotel being okay, but the context around it is rocky.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges / Wheelchair Accessible - (More on that later…)
Gonna be honest, I didn't personally need wheelchair access. However, I did notice that one restaurant (the main buffet) had wheelchair access to tables, with a ramp. So there's that. But navigating the hotel's multiple levels and getting around the pool area, it's tight. I think I saw a lift and some other facilities, but for a truly accessible experience, you'd need to do some serious pre-planning.
Internet - (Bless the Wi-Fi Gods!)
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! – Praise Zeus! The Wi-Fi was reliable, even when I was streaming movies on my laptop (yes, I'm a workaholic even on vacation - don't judge!). There was also Internet [LAN] and Internet services, but honestly, who needs those when you've got glorious, free Wi-Fi?
Things to Do, Ways to Relax - (Pool with a View? Absolutely. Perfection.)
This is where Helena Hotel shines. The Pool with a view is utterly breathtaking. I'm talking, postcard-worthy, jaw-droppingly gorgeous. You could practically live in that pool. (And, in my case, I practically did.) The sunrise swims? Magical. Sunset cocktails by the pool? Pure bliss.
Let's dive into the more luxurious aspects:
- Fitness center: I tried to work-out.
- Gym/fitness: Yeah, there's one of the gym in the basement.
- Massage: The. Best. Massage. Ever. I went twice. No regrets.
- Spa: Yep, it's there.
- Spa/sauna, Steamroom: Did not try; but they're there if you want to go.
Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath: You betcha!
Sauna: Didn't use it, but it's there.
Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: See above: Glorious, and essential.
Cleanliness and Safety - (They Take it Seriously!)
In the age of COVID, this is a big one. Honestly, the Helena Hotel was spotless. They were obsessive about cleanliness.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Check.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Check.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere.
- Hygiene certification: Absolutely.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Yes.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Mostly. (People sometimes forget at the buffet.)
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Yep.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Absolutely.
- Safe dining setup: Definitely.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Yep.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Yes.
- Sterilizing equipment: Seems like it.
They even offered Room sanitization opt-out available. I didn't opt out, because, frankly, I appreciated the scrubbing.
Staff trained in safety protocol: That was a noticeable point that kept me and everyone else safer.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - (Food, Glorious Food!)
Okay, so the food was good. Really good, actually. Here’s a peek:
- A la carte in restaurant: Definitely. Some seriously delicious offerings.
- Alternative meal arrangement: They were flexible with requests.
- Asian cuisine in restaurant: Nope.
- Bar: Amazing cocktails. Expensive, but worth it.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Buffet service = the BEST. It's a wide arrangement.
- Breakfast service: Yes.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Loads.
- Coffee shop: Coffee, pastries, the works.
- Desserts in restaurant: Yes.
- Happy hour: There was definitely a happy hour!
- International cuisine in restaurant: Buffet with a wide array.
- Poolside bar: Essential.
- Restaurants: Multiple options, from the main buffet to the a la carte.
- Room service [24-hour]: Perfect for those late-night cravings (or hangovers).
- Salad in restaurant: Yes.
- Snack bar: Near the pool.
- Soup in restaurant: Yes.
- Western breakfast: Full English breakfast.
- Western cuisine in restaurant: Yep.
Honestly, the mornings were a highlight. The Breakfast [buffet] was epic. Think mountains of pastries, fresh fruit you could practically taste the sunshine in, and enough omelet stations to satisfy a small army. I may or may not have eaten my weight in those little Greek yogurt cups with honey. Breakfast service was smooth and efficient.
The One Big Mishap (And How I'll Never Forget It)
Right, so the food. Mostly good. But remember how I said I ate my weight in those yogurt cups? Well, let's just say that not EVERY part of the breakfast buffet experience was smooth sailing.
On the second day, I made my way to the buffet with pure excitement. I loaded up my plate, grabbed a yogurt, and headed for a table. I took a bite, and BAM! A piece of what seemed to be glass got lodged in my gum!! I nearly choked on it. The next instant I was spitting into my napkin like I was in some sort of dramatic movie.
The staff was mortified. They rushed over, made a thousand apologies, and offered me anything I wanted. They even comped my entire breakfast for the rest of my stay. The experience left a sort of memory in me, which I sometimes go back to!
Services and Conveniences - (The Little Extras Matter!)
Helena Hotel has a host of amenities:
- Air conditioning in public area: Yes. Essential.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: Seems like it, but I did not use it.
- Business facilities: Present.
- Cash withdrawal: Yes.
- Concierge: Helpful.
- Contactless check-in/out: Yes.
- Convenience store: Handy for snacks and sunscreen emergencies.
- Currency exchange: Available.
- Daily housekeeping: Excellent.
- Doorman: Always helpful.
- **Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center.
- For the kids Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal.
- Access: It's there.
- **CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property,Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Couple's room, Exterior corridor, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Hotel chain, Non-smoking rooms, Pets allowed unavailable, Proposal spot, Room decorations, Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms, Soundproof rooms, Getting around, Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned travel itinerary. This is my attempt at surviving (and hopefully thriving) through a week at the Helena Hotel in Ios Chora, Greece. Prepare for a glorious mess.
The Helena Hotel: My Personal Oasis (Or Potential Disaster Zone)
- Pre-Trip Freak-Out Phase (Weeks Leading Up):
- Panic Day 1: Booked the flight! OMG, am I really going to Greece? Google Images: "Greek Islands." Immediate overwhelming bliss. Followed by: "Greece travel scams," "pickpockets Athens," "what if I get horribly sunburnt and just look like a lobster for a week?"
- Packing Trauma: "Light packing" is clearly a hoax perpetrated by someone. My suitcase is threatening to explode. Five pairs of shoes? Probably too many. But what if I need options?
- Language Barrier Anxiety: I know maybe five Greek words. "Yassas" (hello), "Efharisto" (thank you), and "I need more Ouzo!" (probably not a real word). This could be a problem.
Day 1: Arrival – The Promised Land (And Endless Stairs)
- Morning: Arrived in Ios. Airport to Ferry. OMG, the Aegean Sea! It's BLUE! Seriously, a dazzling, ridiculous, cartoon-blue.
- Afternoon: The ferry. Chaotic, full of backpackers, and the smell of sunscreen and impending adventure. Disembarking in Ios Chora felt like being spat out by a whale onto a rocky beach.
- The Helena Hotel: (Finally!) Found it. And, holy stairs, Batman! This place is built into the side of a mountain. My legs are already screaming. The view from my room? Worth the trek. Absolutely breathtaking. I can almost taste the feta.
- Evening: Dinner at a taverna in Chora. Ordered something I couldn't pronounce (it involved grilled octopus). It was chewy, but the sunset over the caldera? Forget. About. It. Absolute perfection. Drank too much local wine, stumbled back to the hotel, and collapsed into bed, already dreaming of more sun and adventure.
Day 2: Beach Day (Or, The Day the Sun Almost Killed Me)
- Morning: Slept in! Victory! Got myself ready for a day at Mylopotas beach.
- Beach Fail: Okay, so I underestimated the sun. BIG TIME. Slapped on sunscreen (thought!), but apparently not enough. After a few glorious hours of lying on the beach, I started feeling a bit… rosy. Then, full-blown lobster. Ouch.
- Afternoon: Attempted to soothe myself with a cool shower and a nap. Failed. My skin is screaming.
- Evening: Dinner at a restaurant overlooking the beach. Forced myself to eat, even though I felt like a walking tomato. Ordered the "calamari," which turned out to be more like deep-fried rubber bands. Ate a giant Greek salad to soothe my poor burnt self.
Day 3: Exploring Chora – Winding Streets and Hidden Treasures (and Getting Lost)
- Morning: Attempted to explore Chora. The narrow, winding streets are pure magic. Cute little white buildings with blue doors and windows. Got lost about six times. But honestly? Not complaining. Wandered into a tiny shop selling jewelry, and bought a delicate silver necklace.
- Afternoon: Spent the afternoon sitting in a cafe in the main square of Chora and people-watching. Got a cappuccino and watched the world go by. The locals were just so friendly! Learned a few more basic Greek phrases (emphasis on "beer" and "ice cream").
- Evening: Dinner at a restaurant with the most phenomenal gyros imaginable. Literally, the best I've ever had. The meat was perfectly seasoned, the pita was fluffy; the tzatziki was tangy, the onion was crisp, the tomato was juicy. I think I actually shed a tear of joy. After dinner, walked around the main square and a little more of Chora and admired the nightlife.
Day 4: Gialos and the Daytrip from Hell
- Morning: Hired a taxi to Gialos for a boat trip to… somewhere. The boat trip sounded fun, but let's just say, I'm not built for the open sea. Seasickness, meet me.
- Afternoon: The boat trip. Oh, sweet mercy. I was clinging to the railing for dear life, fighting the urge to hurl into the Aegean. The scenery was stunning, I'm sure, but all I could focus on was the relentless rocking and the churning of my stomach. Finally back on land, I vow never to set foot on a boat again.
- Evening: Back at the hotel. Lay on my bed. Ordered room service. Felt sorry for myself.
Day 5: The Hike to Homer's Tomb (Maybe!)
- Morning: Decided to be active. Attempted to hike to Homer's Tomb (or at least, what's believed to be Homer's Tomb). The walk was a long uphill trek in the blistering sun. My legs are still protesting.
- Afternoon: Reached the tomb. It was… a tomb. A pile of rocks. But the view from the top? Unbelievable. I could see the entire island, sparkling in the sunlight. This perspective made the hike seem worth it.
- Evening: Dinner at a taverna with real, authentic, Greek food. Ordered a moussaka that could have fed a small army. It was delicious. Went to bed, exhausted but content.
Day 6: The Beach, Take Two (Slightly Smarter This Time)
- Morning: Beach day, round two. Armed with extra sunscreen, a hat, and a sense of cautious optimism. Found a shady spot under a palm tree.
- Afternoon: Swimming. The water was crystal clear, and shockingly cold. But refreshing after all the heat. Spent the day swimming, reading, and generally just soaking up the sun/salty smells/sea air.
- Evening: Final dinner in Ios. Went to a fancy restaurant by the harbor and dressed up. Ate fresh seafood. Drank a lot of wine. A bittersweet feeling washed over me, that my stay was coming to an end.
Day 7: Farewell, Ios (Until Next Time?)
- Morning: Last breakfast at the hotel. Said goodbye to the amazing view. Packed. Said goodbye to my burning skin.
- Afternoon: Ferry back to the mainland. The Aegean Sea is still blue and stunning, but I’m less overwhelmed now.
- Evening: Departure. Standing in the airport, reflecting on my trip, I felt a small pang of sadness at leaving. But also, a huge sense of accomplishment. I had survived Greece, I had learned a few things, and I had discovered a whole new level of appreciation for sunscreen and the power of a good gyro.
Quirky Observations & Ramblings:
- The stray cats. They're everywhere, and they're adorable.
- The Greek people's laid-back approach to everything. It's both charming and occasionally maddening.
- The quantity of feta cheese available. I think I've eaten my weight in feta.
- The sunsets. Every single one was a masterpiece. I will miss it.
- My stomach. It has been through a lot.
- Ios itself. What a place. What memories. What a journey.
Overall Feelings:
- Exhausted. Sunburnt. Happy. And already dreaming of a return trip. Greece, you win.
- Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Just maybe with a more realistic packing plan and a very large bottle of aloe vera. And definitely avoiding that boat trip.
- This was a journey, not just a trip. And, sometimes, the mess is the best part.
So, You Wanna Know About... Life, The Universe, and Probably Mostly Me, But Whatever: FAQs
The meaning of life? Ugh. Okay, deep breath. It's such a loaded question, isn't it? Like, everyone *expects* a profound answer. Used to be, I thought it was climbing the corporate ladder. Years I spent, sacrificing hobbies, friends, and (let's be honest) basic humanity for the sake of 'career advancement.' Well, I got to a point. Reached the tippity-top (or, at least, the top of a somewhat tolerable slightly-less-awful-than-before job). Expecting fireworks, fanfare, a sudden flash of enlightenment. What I got? A mildly existential, 'Okay, now what, Jimmy?' feeling. Pretty deflating, to be frank. I'm still figuring it out, mind you. I think (and this is *my* take, so take it with a grain of salt the size of Utah) the meaning of life is whatever you *make* it. It's not some pre-packaged deal you pick off a shelf at the Cosmic Department Store. It's about those tiny moments. Like, right now, it's obsessing over my sourdough starter (which, by the way, has a name: Brenda. Don't ask me why; the yeast whisper to me in my sleep...). It’s the sun on your face on a crisp autumn day, a really good laugh that cracks your ribs, or FINALLY figuring out how to unstick that darn printer! Okay, maybe that last one is a *me* thing. But those are the gold nuggets, the real treasure. And, you know, probably a decent pizza. Definitely a decent pizza. Pizza is a strong contender for the meaning-of-life stakes, in my book.
My typical day? Buckle up, buttercup, because it's a rollercoaster. Or, more accurately, a mildly rickety carousel that occasionally threatens to fly off the rails. It starts... well, it starts too early. Like, around 7:00 AM. And with 7:00 AM comes the immediate, gut-wrenching regret of not going to bed earlier. Seriously, why do I do this to myself? Then it's a desperate grab for caffeine. Coffee, my elixir, my lifeblood, my… everything. Then comes the daily ritual of checking emails. A guaranteed mistake. Honestly, I should probably just delete the email app entirely. (Maybe tomorrow...). Then, the commute. Traffic. Honking horns, frustrated drivers, and the soul-crushing realization that I'm spending a significant portion of my life sitting in a metal box, staring at the back of someone's minivan. Ugh. Work? A blur. Meetings, spreadsheets, and the constant, terrifying illusion that I actually know what I'm doing. Sometimes, I even fool myself. The rest of the day is a series of small victories. Successfully responding to an email without typos? Victory! Finding a parking spot that *doesn't* involve a mile-long trek? Another win! After work? The usual. Dinner (usually something I threw together in five minutes. I'm not Martha Stewart, folks), maybe some TV. And by "some TV," I mean the same three shows I rewatch on a loop. Don't judge me; it's comforting. Then comes the real challenge: trying to convince myself to go to bed at a semi-reasonable hour. It's a losing battle, most nights. Yep, the same loop, over and over. My life in a nutshell, I guess. Send help... or maybe just a pizza. (See? Pizza again. A recurring theme...)
Okay, let's get vulnerable. My biggest fears? Well, there's the obvious stuff. Heights. Spiders (those eight-legged monstrosities… ugh!). And then there’s a more specific, less common fear: ending up completely alone with a cat. (Look, no offense to all the lovely cat people out there! I appreciate your commitment. It's just... cats are a lot of work, aren't they? And the commitment… I'm just not sure I'm cut out for it.) But if I’m being truly, deeply honest… the biggest one? It’s failing. Not in some dramatic, public, train-wreck kind of way. No, no. My fear is far more insidious. It's the quiet, the persistent failure; the kind that sneaks up on you over time. It’s not living up to my own potential. The slow, agonizing burn of regret eating away at me...The terror of waking up one day and realizing I haven't actually *done* anything with my life. That's the stuff of nightmares. The idea of looking back and having a big ol' bucket of remorse... Yeah, not a fan. I mean, I love a good bucket - for beach days! - but not for… that. Also, spiders. Still hate spiders.
Regrets? Oh, sweet mother. Do I *have* regrets? Where on earth to I even *start*? Okay, Deep breath. There was the haircut of 1Find That Hotel
